January 27 would have been our 47th Anniversary

It was a wonderful marriage. CERTAINLY not perfect or even smooth sailing some of the time but wonderful.

Being "best friends" through Jr and Sr High, talking on the phone for HOURS but not "dating" until after High School graduation. There was none of the "putting on our dating face". We knew each other way to well for that to work.

I have difficulty explaining the relationship. But a little while after Mary Ann died, a chance meeting brought someone back into my life. She wrote about it, and about her view of the love Mary Ann and I shared. I have her permission to share it here.

My parents divorced when I was young and I never saw a happy loving married couple while I was growing up. I hoped the ideal existed somewhere but I couldn't figure out how it was supposed to work. As a teenager I began attending a different church and I met an amazing couple. They were loving and very accepting. They had adopted children as well as their own and they took in a foreign exchange student. By the grace of God they accepted me into their circle. At first I was angry at the wife because I thought she didn't appreciate what a kind and devoted husband she had. I thought she was taking advantage of a man who was desperately infatuated with her. He was so considerate and patient. These were two traits I didn't see much of while growing up. As I spent more time with this couple though I began to catch her loving glimpses toward her husband. I also noticed the way her face beamed when she spoke about him. I realized that my initial judgment was wrong. This woman was deeply in love with her husband and valued him greatly. She had an acerbic tongue and acid wit. Her husband, though saw through her defenses to her soft inner core and though outwardly they could be sarcastic to each other, they trusted each other to not do any harm. Through their example I no longer had the notion that my prince had to be perfect nor did I. I saw that true love does not demand perfection, rather it accepts and even cherishes those things which seem unlovely to others. I didn't put into practice what I had learned immediately though. I loved with a wild abandon and was determined to love with no strings attached. What I had yet to realize though was that a relationship only works when both parties are willing to love in the same way. After divorcing my first husband, I felt like a complete failure. But the seeds from which my future marriage would grow had been planted and were about to sprout. I decided that I needed criteria which must be met before I accepted a man as being worthy of my pure devotion. The list I made was based on the very things I saw in that husband I so admired as a teenager. Character counts. That was my motto. I finally found my prince Charming. He is neither a prince, nor is he very charming. But he is singularly devoted to me and when he looks at me I know that he will do anything within his power to make me happy. I see mirrored in his face what I saw in the face of that other husband so long ago. Years happily passed, some better than others, for life is not without its troubles. I went to one of my favorite antique shops looking for Christmas gifts, and the owner had downsized to one half of the building. The other half was a new antique shop so of course, being the adventurous sort, I went in. I asked if there were any airplane memorabilia of a local airline that no longer exists. My husband is a big buff of theirs. I was told that if anyone did it would be the ex-pilot Tom. I came in a few times after looking for Tom and finally met him. He said he would bring some of his airline things in and I left to return another day. More time passed before we were in the store at the same time again and he said he didn't think I was serious so he didn't have anything to sell. He promised to bring it in next time and in the process of putting a reminder in his palm pilot began telling me about his hectic day. A part of his activities involved a local center for the performing arts. I mentioned that my mother volunteers there and he asked her name. As soon as I told him who my mother was he knew me. It took a while for the blinders to be taken off my eyes as well. He spoke of his children and when he mentioned Lena it all fell into place and my memories were unlocked. I don't know if he understands how important it was that he and his wife took pity on a teenage girl full of self doubt. Even though we have discussed the intervening years I don't know if words are enough to explain the miracle it was that THEY noticed me. Without the guidance of their example I don't know how long it would have taken me to get it when it came to relationships. I don't even think I realize the full impact of their influence in my life. We are all spreading seeds all day, every day. Seeds of joy or hurt. Life or death. I thank God for the seed of hope for a lasting love that was planted deep in my heart so long ago. This is my story. Beth